My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
