I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
