Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
