I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
