last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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