So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
