My Higher Power is John Stamos
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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