We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
