so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize