He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
