so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
