So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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