I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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