Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize