Cold hands, warm shart.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
