Please, let me fuck your mom
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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