is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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