Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I will pee on everything he values.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
