Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
