The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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