I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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