he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
