You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize