oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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