I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
