3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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