Non-Jews are for practice
You can't motorboat a personality
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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