WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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