What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
