No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
