No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
