Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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