i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
