i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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