Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
