I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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