did you get engaged???
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
