I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
