Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
