eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
They took my balls.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
