the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
