things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
