Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
