you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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