Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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