then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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