before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize