You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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