Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
