If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
