if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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