Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
