And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
