I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
