sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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