I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
