Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
