on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
