Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
