She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
