Small penises have feelings too.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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