For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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