hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
two words...techno handjob
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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