This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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