I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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