She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
