I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
