I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My penis needs a shock collar
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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