Who did Billy Mays play for?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
