Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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