i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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