you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize