he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize