What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
