so explain again why im purple
no
Betty ford says i'm here all night
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
